When Strategy Becomes a Substitute for Discernment

This forthcoming essay asks what dating strategies can conceal when they are used to elicit generosity, affection or commitment rather than notice whether those values are already present.

“We’ve become so focused on learning how to get the desired outcome that we’re overlooking what the process of getting there reveals about compatibility.”

“We’re using strategies to overcome the very incompatibilities those strategies should be helping us identify.”